In the Rain
by Dark Hikari Twilight
Summary: On the cliffs of looking over the Ruins of Midgar Genesis comes to terms with his grief and the role he played in the destruction. SephXGen Yaoi


My Genesis muse has been very moody lately, this is the result. I hope you all enjoy! Please leave a review- DHT

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Genesis stood over looking Midgar, or the ruins there of. He shook as he wrapped his arms around himself, he'd heard rumors, well he supposed they were so much rumors as they were a recount of facts that he had miss while he'd been locked away in crystallized mako deep beneath the twisted remains. The wind howled, wiping his now long hair about, as boot crunched over the dissolute soil.

A red gloved hand came to his mouth trying to hold back the sobs as tears spilled out of his eyes not caring for the man's desire. He had no right to cry over the destruction his own selfish motives had caused.

Sephiroth had done this, in his rage and hate against the planet that had wronged him. All his life the man had been used and abused. Genesis had sworn he would show the man more, show him what it was like to be loved. In the end however he'd been no better than the countless others that had come before him.

Minerva had told him that he had redeemed himself in the planet's eye. That he would be her hero, her champion. Genesis's childhood dream had come true but it seemed so hollow with all that had transpired. Becoming the hero, the protector of a dying planet, dying because of his own actions...well it left him bitter.

_No right to complain_. And it was true, ever thing that had happened since he'd begun degrading and turned his back on everyone was his fault. Some would likely tell him it wasn't his fault. He'd been used too, Hollander had treated him no different the Hojo had treated Sephiroth.

But he had, while it had turned into a broken home, Genesis had had a family. More than Sephiroth had ever experienced. Besides, it hadn't been Hollander who stood in the reactor and spouted all those horrible things at his lover. No Genesis clearly remembered the desire to make Sephiroth feel his pain. As if the man hadn't had enough of his own. He needed him to feel like a monster, so that Genesis could connect with him. At the time the deranged SOLDIER hadn't realized it was his actions, not his wing, nor his DNA that had made him monstrous. And so he pushed and Sephiroth fell.

He had watched that night on the cliffs just above the town as his lover went from man to monster, and ash choked the air. The flames were so hot, and he could remember smiling. Sephiroth was a monster like him now, he'd never turn him away. They would be all each other had.

But the night didn't end that way. Sephiroth never emerged from the reactor. Dead supposedly, Genesis's hadn't caught the deals, all he had known was that his salvation had been lost to him. So selfish he had been, Mind so clouded.

The memory itself hurt so much that Genesis nearly fell to his knees, hand clutching his chest as the sobs came loud and a river ran down his cheeks. There was no one here to see him cry over all that he had lost in his madness.

"I still don't know why you want me after all this?" He cried , looking into the sky.

A warm feeling embraced him, Minerva trying to comfort her champion. The Goddess would never understand that it wasn't her comfort he needed. It was the mind of a being that couldn't fathom human emotions, because she was simply too far above them.

It was also why she judged him as he was now at his core, and not for past transgressions. Genesis would never hurt another soul if he could help it.

But his focused changed to the one man who's forgiveness he wanted more than anything, even if he didn't deserve it. "I love you, I always did." he cried out. The wind picked up nearly drowning out his voice, as the sky opened up drowning the former SOLDIER in a deluge of water.

Instead of running for shelter as he would have done in his younger days (likely cursing at the rain for daring to make him wet) he just fell to his knees in the mud that was quickly forming in the once dusty soil. His hand fell into it and he squeeze his hands, as if holding on to the ground was the most important thing in his life, tears still streaming down his face.

"He doesn't hate you, you know." A voice from behind him called out, and Genesis whipped his head around only to catch a blur of black accompanied by a bit of light laughter. "Man no, you look at me and I have to go, takes too much energy to let you see me." with that he felt a gloved hand on his back.

"Fair?" he questioned as his eyes went wide in surprise. He knew the boy was dead.

"You can call me Zack you know, think we've been through enough shit." again there was a bit more laughter as the hand patted him on the shoulder. "Would have been Angeal but he's been gone a lot longer, and didn't think he could sustain himself here, long enough. He doesn't hate you either. Wanted to me to tell you it wasn't your fault."

"Not my fault!" Genesis exclaimed trying to turn to look at Zack again, as before he only saw a blur.

''Tisk tisk." came the reply. "Calm down man, I meant what I said. It wasn't your fault. You were just a pawn like the rest of us." The puppy's voice sounded so odd with the twinge of bitterness that accompanied those words. "You and Seph man, really got the raw deal more than anyone. Do you blame him for what he's done?"

"Of course not! He lost his mind! Because of me! He can't be responsible." Genesis snapped but this time refrained from trying to get a look at Zack.

"And if I remember correctly, you were quite out of your mind because of the degradation." Zack pointed out, though it seemed like he was holding back something.

"That was different." Genesis nearly growled. "No one forced me to do those things." He was shaking again, why was Zack doing this to him.

"Hmm." Zack nearly laughed again. "You're wrong. Never figured it out did you? You were as much a part of the Jenova project as Sephiroth was. While your cells were dormant, they were still hers and she could affect you, just not on the same level as Seph. Aerith kind of explained it to me I'll admit, and I can't remember all the details, but the truth is you were her puppet while you were degrading, just your lines were looser. It wasn't until you met Minerva in the cave that your strings were cut."

"What." The former commander nearly gasped. He'd felt an overwhelming difference after meeting Minerva face to face all those years ago. Genesis had thought it had just been the loss of degradation but, if Zack was correct.

"That's right. Like I said it wasn't your fault." Zack was smiling even if Genesis couldn't see it.

Instead of the happiness that the man thought he'd brought his mentor's best friend, another bitter laugh fell from the ginger's lips. "Still doesn't help him. "

"Actually-" Zack started but was cut off.

"It does." Genesis nearly froze at the new words as black leather arms encircled him. He felt a face nuzzle into his neck as someone's nose brushed his earring.

"Se-ee-ph." he choked out reaching up to grab the other man.

"I'm here Gen." he whispered into the other man's ear. "I missed you."

"How." the redhead was still trembling, though he was terrified to turn around, fearing that Sephiroth would vanish.

"When you woke up I could see you from the lifestream." that silky voice he loved began to speak. "I'd never had a reason to fight Jenova, there was nothing for me here, I wanted the planet dead, it was true because of all the pain...I was lost to her will. I wanted to hate you for what you had done, but I couldn't."

One black glove hand came up to stroke Genesis's hair softly. "When I had seen what you'd become, how you felt...that was when I first began to fight her. Angeal, Zack and even Aerith helped me, but it wasn't enough I need you."

"I'm yours." Genesis sobbed, eyes closed tight still fearful that this man would disappear if he opened them.

"I know." Sephiroth replied with a voice. "But you didn't see me, I tried I did. But with your guilt, I could never get through. "

"I hurt you." Genesis cried, but he couldn't resist relaxing into those strong arms.

Sephiroth simply wrapped his arms tighter around the ginger. "Don't, if I lose you again, I won't be able to fight her off. It was losing you the first time that sent me too her after all."

"Seph." Genesis whimpered and the former General realized his mistake.

"Listen to me Gen." Sephiroth insisted, "No look at me."

"But you'll disappear." Genesis pleaded.

"LOOK AT ME." Sephiroth ordered and Genesis could do nothing but comply.

As he turned, opened his eyes and looked up he would have started crying if he wasn't already.

"They told me what happened too. I know what she's like Gen, she's insidious, makes you believe what you're doing is your own choice, what you want to do. You have to forgive yourself or I can't stay." Sephiroth voice was firm, but his eyes were pleading as he touched the side of his lover's face.

"I..." he trailed off, collapsing against the other man. Even with all this knowledge how could he ever forgive himself. But if he didn't he would lose Sephiroth, and this time for good.

In the end he didn't have a choice. "Alright." he muttered. Self blame wasn't something that could be erased so easily, but he pushed it down, closed it off as best he could. Eventually he would have to truly deal with it, but he hoped for the moment that his efforts had been enough.

The rain was still pouring, but not a single drop had landed on the former Silver General. As Genesis looked up however, the water started to soak into the other man's hair. "Seph."

"I love you Gen." he muttered before leaning in and giving the ginger a kiss.


End file.
